It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
