i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
