She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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