Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Randomize
