Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Randomize
