I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
