writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
