I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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