I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We were destined to go to rehab together
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
