I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize