he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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