I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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