its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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