at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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