Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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