return my video game
We're like a lot better than the average bears
just tell him i said nine months
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
