i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
