physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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