Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
