This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
