physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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