At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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