I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
