At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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