I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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