dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
