The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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