my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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