if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
