Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
