I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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