Define "chronic" masturbator.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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