I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
