I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
