I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
