i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
