someone threw a dead crab at me
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
