just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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