Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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