Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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