I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
