Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
