I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
