mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
