my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
