Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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