i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
