I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Nobody cheats on THIS.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
