A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
