so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
